The Gift

So, I often talk about getting help and trying to work through problems and situations that leave one stuck, so to say, in the mud. I've done this. Been stuck and couldn't go forward or backward. Absolutely paralyzed.

I recently walked back into a situation I had really left long ago. Struggled with it for a good 20+ years after I left feeling I had to help. Feeling there was nothing more important than helping someone who was dependent on alcohol to get through the day. To deal with the present because they could not go back and change the past. They just want to forget the past and they didn't want to deal with it. So they drown the feelings and hurt out with their choice of tool.

I figured out a long time ago though it wasn't my job to get them help. They didn't listen to me, friends, family or anyone. I understood this was not my job or my battle. This was their battle and they are completely and fully aware of it. They told me they don't want to change. They told me if death came again to just give them a cigarette and a beer and let them die.

I think though I always hoped it would change. I hoped that they would pick themselves up and figure it all out. They didn't. They didn't when they were sick or even when death was at their door twice already.

So there I was, with this person, standing in the same spot looking at the same situation that I had been in (I do not know how) many times years ago. I wasn't worried because I had used that game plan up years ago. I wasn't shocked either to see them in the same state doing the same thing. Abusing themselves over and over again like there was no problem with that at all. 

What hit me standing there and thinking about it was what was my lesson in this? What was it?

It hit me today. There is so much to do in life. And I WANT to do it. I don't want to be stuck. I want to move freely and soar the way my life is meant to be. I had let go of so many things before today, taken care of me, but yet I held onto this hope for whatever reason for another. Why? I may never know. But for me, hope is that there will always be something better out there. It's how I got to where I am now and how I literally survived my own hell I put myself through.

The lesson this person gave me is to live now. Don't let the past dictate your future. That I am so very worth it to go forward and leave this behind. To let go of them.

My gift from this is to live my life and I am damn well gonna. To live the life I was given. Given! I need to live it in my own way. Taking care of me and understanding that if I take care of me it is okay. It is okay to put me first. I am brave and strong and that, in this world, is a difficult thing to do and be. Admitting your faults and taking steps to make yourself better is hard lesson you know. It sucks, but it's been worth it. I'm a freaking member of the Super Friends!

I'm so grateful to see it now. My perspective shifted for the better. The hope I have is only for me now. That's my lesson and the gift this person was meant to give me without even knowing it. Thank you.

My Leap is Paying Off

...nothing will be impossible to you.

"...For truly, I say to you if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you." -Matthew 17:20

It's not every day I say, "I'm finished." No, not every day.

Two June's ago I did just that. I left a career I never wanted and started focusing on what I knew I could do and be who I knew I was meant to be. I not only left a career behind, but I left some volunteer positions as well to focus on me and my family. Mainly me if I am going to be completely honest here.

Is that selfish? Some would say it is. Dropping your job, dropping your income to pursue your dream. Hmmm...but to me it wasn't. It was more than that. I was slowly slipping away and my soul was not fulfilled. I had to make a move before I lost me in the shuffle of day to day. I knew it was important.

I don't miss going to the movies, taking expensive vacations and buying things I don't need. It's interesting how much you really consider needing when you change your perspective of what is really important in life isn't it?

So, in this I have also continued to seek out help for my past demons. To improve my thoughts and self-esteem so that I could go forward. Not really leaving those hurtful things and trauma behind, but truly finding a shelf to put them without the pain. I own those now. They are no longer controlling me and my emotions. I continue to receive help to this day and go forward.

I began working on my art, my techniques, my strengths in fibers and drawing. Exploring things I loved like knitting, tatting lace and weaving. Creating things for sale, participating in art fairs and a fashion show where I presented my collection of accessories even. I learned a lot in this time. Things I like, things I never want to do and things I can't wait to dive into.

I've now begun dreaming of traveling and starting to look into the areas of the world I want to go. Where I want to take my kids and where I want to backpack with my friends.  It's important to travel. The more places you go, the more you learn and the more your world opens to new possibilities. It's a wonderful gift to give yourself.

I'm also working on going to Haiti to share my knowledge teaching the techniques I know. The people need help in earning money not only to live day to day, but to afford schooling for their children. It is nothing for me to take the time out of my life to help those who really need it. It's my dream to continue on this path of giving and helping wherever I am needed. It's a passion I can't put away.

Also, I have created a path to a career I am pretty darn sure is going to launch me forward even more. I will be starting my second company in August called Smart Party. An idea that I have been bouncing around in my head for about two years now. Basics are I present several ideas for parties based around famous artist or art movements. I teach the history and show the people how to create in the same manners. It's one of my passions to teach in my own way and with my own rules. I have taught in college and at art fairs, but I wanted to come up with something that would work with my schedule and three children. That's how I got here. Educate, Empower and Create. What more could I possibly do that is more fun than this? Seriously?

So, that leap of faith I took two years is now coming full circle and I am hopeful to teach what I love while continuing my career as an accessory and intimate apparel artist. I have one life to live. This is my choice and I love it.

Hand-Tatted Teal Daisy Necklace

I'm beginning to make more necklaces to match the earrings I have been making now for over a year. So this is the newest necklace. I like the way it lays in an asymmetrical pattern. Then also, I am playing with different colors ways for the daisies. It's exciting to try something new and different. I never in a million years would have thought my love of lace making would lead to this. 

Walk into the Mist

Things are changing for Fibers Studio! So many plans and starting a brick and mortar shop hopefully this year is at the forefront of this journey. I'm very excited, but at the same time all this change makes me a little nervous. Like the unknown of cost and having to estimate everything out for the business plan. I am literally walking into the mist!

I came up with this little phase while having coffee with my dear and talented friend. I was waiting on her and there was a wall where I could play with words. Interesting how I picked these words isn't it?

Seriously though, a light hearted seriously, I am ready for this change. Like I have written so many times before, this journey has been taking time because I couldn't just jump and change all the sudden everything in my career and home life. I had to take small steps to get there making slower transitions and really thinking everything through. I've mostly been a quick transition gal. This is a new pace for me! I've made loads of mistakes also, but that's good because I need to and I don't mind them. It's how things are and I can't make everything perfect. Plus, I don't want to. I am accepting of mistakes.

I do though want to bring my love of art and why I do what I do to my community. I want people to come together to create for a cause that needs it or simply create for themselves. I want to teach and run a shop that reaches different age levels and interests. I've been coming up with several ideas and concepts the last few years. I need to do more research on loans, ask friends that have or have had shops what they recommend, and talk to the small business organizations out there that provide assistance for such adventures. That's the next step of my five year plan. I am on the 4th year and this is the year for the big jump. Wish me luck and if you have any advice please comment! What would you do? Really!

Refresh, Rethink and Renew

Oh winter. It's still here although it feels like spring today. I've been reorganizing my life lately. Slimming down responsibilities, focusing and honestly trying to get past bumps along the way that have trailed with me for too long.

I tend to take on too much. It's one of my flaws. I have often wondered why and thought I was just an overachiever. Well, that part is true to some extent, but I have tried before to slim down the load and focus just on one thing always to come back to too many pans in the fire yet again. This just leads to me not doing as good a job as I want, then I beat myself up and fall back into old routines that do not nurture me well. So, this time it took me a year to slim down to just me. I dumped volunteer jobs, board positions and a career path that had become undesirable after twenty years.

Looking around I found a lot of the things I love left behind, unfinished and basically untouched for years. At first I was really sad and it got me down a bit. I became overwhelmed by what wasn't done, what I left for something I didn't even like and then realized it's time to start over.

What is different this time is I am dealing with those things I never wanted to face. Things deep down, tucked away out of site for no one to see or me to think about any longer. Just like an alcoholic, drug addict, or anything of similarity I ignored some things in my life by putting it away. I took on so many things that I wouldn't have to think about it. Does that solve those things unfinished, unwanted, buried for you to ignore? No, it doesn't solve a thing. In fact, it just makes things harder in the long run. In my own way I just kept ignoring those things that I really needed to deal with.

I decided recently that it was really time to take a good look at me. I have been seeking help for over a year now and digging through my past. The reason I finally realized I needed to tackle this old news was because it never truly went away. Something would happen and my emotional reaction was so over the top it didn't make sense. I didn't realize I was reacting the way I was until I stepped back and really looked at what I was doing. I couldn't find by myself what was the cause of such a disproportional response. Logically, I could understand what I was doing and it made perfect sense, but emotionally I was no where near where I needed to be. Little things would spur this reaction on. I couldn't let things go, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened or I couldn't leave it at the office at the end of the day basically.

Sometimes we as people just get through our days. We do what we must so we can make it to the next day. We set aside hurtful events and just go on never really dealing with what has happened. Not taking time to really deal with trauma, hurt, loss, etc. will only prolong the hurt. I have been going back in my mind trying to connect those things that hurt. It has been a long, long road and I am no where close to the end, but I do know the more I am willing to work on this the more I remember. I have blocked years out. Not months, but years. I have gone on thinking I just need to get through, but somewhere along the way I just didn't do what I needed to. I didn't deal with the situation. I didn't ask for help.

Finally, after decades of just getting on with life, I am honestly dealing with the loss, the hurt, the trauma and trying to find that key to not let those things get me down. I am facing the fear. I am letting the emotions come forward. I am crying. I am forgiving. I am going forward so I can be the mother I dream of being and the artist I know I am. I am getting my emotional response to equal my logical response slowly over time. That's really it.  I now know how to ask for help.

Why I Don't Race

.

 

A few years ago I started riding a bike again. No big deal except I hadn't ridden since 1992. I know because I use to ride to the park where my university was with a bunch of friends. 1992 was it! It wasn't a race. It was just for fun.

So when I started biking again I was trying to lose some weight and would post times and distance. I guess to prove I was getting better because when I started I was SLOW! For a while I toyed with the idea of racing. In fact, I was asked if I was going to do exactly that. Once I really thought about it I honestly didn't want to. I didn't want to take the pure joy I have simply riding my bike away from me. I wanted to feel the wind through my hair (now with a helmet) and against my skin enjoying the moment of it all. Some things about riding a bike brings back those memories of freedom as a child and that makes me smile. 


I didn't want to buy "the gear", "invest in a bike", "join a club", "sign up" for a 30 mile bike trek. It just didn't make sense to me because I didn't want to do that at all at the time. Maybe I will race someday and find a way to put that happiness into racing, but until then I am going to focus on build my muscles, gaining my strength back and losing the weight. The thing is for now I need to keep enjoying biking as I know it. Just like that happiness I had as a kid riding down Sunset Drive in Belleville, Illnois.

Teaching Maggie to Tat

In this short video above I am introducing my daughter to the movements of tatting. I think it's important to feel the movements and how relaxed one is when tatting. We are making double stitches which involves tatting two parts of the double stitch.

In the video above I am tatting a ring. You wont be able to see the actual tatting very well, but it shows you how I work & the motions. I describe it as I go.

It's been fun playing with video a bit. I may just do more and find a friend with a camera that could really zoom in and see the delicate lace I make. 

The Middle Bits - Studio Days to begin in September!

"Yes, you try strive for the final thing being good, but you're also very well aware of how beautiful the process is. People in a gallery or in the public they're missing 2/3s of what's special about what
that object was and how it got made."

Chris Palmer-material artist

From the documentary "Between the Folds"

The middles bits...that's what most people really do miss out on when creating a piece of art. As I was watching this amazing documentary, the words that material artists Chris Palmer said above just hit me. I talk often about process and loving the middle of the process of creating and I was thinking it's time to share that part with people who want to be a part of it.

I am going to be hosting "Studio Days" beginning in September where I open up my studio once a month for others to come visit, bring their own creations to work on if they like, and experience this wonderful part of being an artist.

Often I get the question, "How much time did that take?!" I do know how much time I take on projects because I track them with a program called Weave for my iPhone. But honestly sometimes people amaze me with their responses. Some are good, some are a little interesting, but most of the time if someone really asks me about this they are very appreciative of the time it takes.

So, the middle bits...I'm in love with this part. I lose myself in the repetition of what I do. I weave, knit and tat lace. And with every one of those I have a pattern I am following. Usually I have it in my head and when I move material between my fingers and hands I am my most happiest. Then the piece becomes an extension of me. I feel alive and I feel good. I love what I do and I think it shows.

I hope you will come create with me. I will post time and day very soon on this blog, twitter and facebook. I look forward to sharing the middle bits with all of you!

Three Years and So Much More...

Me and my Grandpa Johnson

Three years ago today my grandpa passed away. What I didn't know at the time is what an impact on my life this event would have. I adored and respected my grandpa very much. He was always there for me no matter what came along. He took time out of his day to talk to me or if I was there he would just bring me along to work with him. As a kid I would get to go visit in the summer and winter for a week or two and those were some of the most special times in my life spent with him and my grandma hands down.

My grandpa was a strong man in character plus a kind man with a huge heart. He would help anyone if he could and never expect anything in return. He worked hard and played harder. He had struggles just like we all do, but at the end of the day he was someone I really looked up to.

I remember riding in his dump truck and getting rock candy at the quarry. I remember helping him at his bait shop he owned for a while and going and restocking the fish. We went fishing about a zillion times catching crappie or catfish, running trot lines, etc. and always had fun. He taught me to shoot a shot gun and rifle. We played the heck out of crazy eights and one summer I swear we played Chinese checkers every waking moment. I would sit with him and listen to his stories from childhood growing up with his siblings and cousins on Bear Creek while we sat in his old bus he had that was converted into a camper with the Coleman lantern going. I listened to stories from the war he was in and was fascinated every single time I heard him tell them. Friends would drop by and bring stories to share. We'd drink coffee and enjoy life because that's just how it was. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows  over a fire and you would have thought we had died and gone to heaven. Life with him and my grandma was always the best.

I always believed my grandpa when he said I was beautiful because I knew he meant it. He was truly interested in my life, my children, my education, and even my choices. He would listen and that is where I miss him most probably...just talking and listening and cracking jokes.

So three years when he passed away something just changed in me. I didn't realize how much he was my rock in my life, my foundation that held a lot of my anxieties together. And I wept for him greatly for the first few months after his death. But in that time I realized a lot of what I was doing I didn't really like. I didn't want to do the things that did not fulfil me any longer. So I decided to start doing more of what I needed for me. I needed to take care of myself better. I needed sleep. I needed to exercise and eat correctly. Then I realized more of what I wanted. I wanted to change my career and become the woman I wanted to be. So then I could be a good example for my children to look up to just like my grandpa was for me. I started taking small steps toward all this. It was pivotal to say the least.

I've come a long way in these past three years, gotten past some huge issues, and settled some too. I've stopped doing the things that I didn't want to do any longer.  I've sought professional help to get me past some of my anxieties so I wont keep repeating the same mistakes over and over. I'm still seeking help at this stage, but the progress has been good. I've begun to deal with hurt and trauma that happened to me and find a way to put it in a place that is good and not negative. I'm learning and growing and dealing with those things that have held me up for eons. It's all good and I've set some new goals from my dreams. Life is getting a little easier for me. I think grandpa would be proud.

I can still hear his voice & laughter in my head and as long as I can hear that I know I will be okay. He would say things like, "Can you laugh for grandpa?" How could I forget that happiness I felt every time he asked that? Everything is good. I know he is looking over me and watching me through my struggles and happiness. Sometimes I even can feel his presence. Silly maybe, but there are just times where I feel like he's right there beside me and it's comforting to me regardless if it's real or not.

Grandpa went out each night at the end of the day to look at the moon and stars, say his prayers and then to bed. I often do the same thing and as I see that moon and stars each night I know everything will be okay and that my decisions are right for me. I know life will be so much more fulfilling if I keep going forward and following my dreams as I build my foundation to stand on yet again with my grandpa looking over me giving me strength.

The Crown

So, yes, I made that. It is a hand-tatted lace crown with Schwartz chrystals. It was a huge project for me that actually made it into my very own accessory show. And in keeping up with my procrastinating tradition I finished it 6 hours before show time! Wawhooooo! Ha ha! 


Okay, but hey it was the first time I did a tatting project that was in the round. It was also one in which I had beads on the shuttle and on the ball. That means I was dealing with learning as I went along tatting. I began it on I think a Monday, maybe Tuesday and finished up on a Friday. A lot of people asked me how long it took. My estimate is 40 hours, but I will go a little faster the more I make. I worked 12 hours one day I know and most days I worked 8 hours. Overall, I made a lot of mistakes, but I learned so very much that it was completely worth it!


One thing I want to really share with you is the way tatting is like weaving and knitting for me. I tend to get lost in the pattern and repitition of it all. I enjoy the process of creating. Not necessaily the beginning or the finishing of it, but the middle bits. The part where you are comfortable enough to know the pattern without looking to the book and the movements just naturally flow. Like it's a part of you and you are making this unique piece of art come to life. That's my favorite part. And I do believe it is what keeps me coming back. 


I will share photos of the crown on my princess in the accessory show when the photographer gets a chance to edit the hundreds of shots he made in two days. 


In the meantime, I am working on another design for a crown I have thought of adapted from this one. Enjoy the rest of the photos! 

She's Long Gone...

I recently made a huge transistion in my life. One that I wasn't even sure I knew how to do, but I just said, "It's time".

I left behind the girl I no longer want to be to become the woman I want to be. The last couple decades I have struggled with what is expected of me compared to what I wanted to do. I think this is a debate a lot of people go through, but who actually follows through? I know some do, but some don't like change, transitions, etc. Whatever you like to call it.

Change is so difficult...especially the ones you can't control. This change with me is very controlled. I decided to step out of the life I didn't like. I have been a graphic designer for 20 years and I just decided I was done. Like I said it had been coming, but I actually did it. I spoke the words and I did it. I told my clients I was finished and I then resigned from a contracting job which I had slowly started pulling away from. I don't feel bad either. Not one ounce of guilt. I know that right there means the world to me not to feel guilt and it's the right move for me.

Now, onto my new adventure. I want to have a shop, earn a living running it and to keep making/selling my art. It's scary you know to think I will have employees, own MORE money for a while, but then again I will have the flexibility I really need to keep myself around my kids and in there life. I need that. I think they will need it even if they don't want me there...but hey, sticking with my kids is a given. I chose that and I love them dearly. Plus there is a heck of a learning curve opening a business and I am using every possible contact and resource out there to get this done correctly and not just jump into without considering all possibilities. I'll make mistakes, but if I can get past the first, second, then third years...I will be really happy. Lots of planning to be done by me very, very soon!

So basically instead of my finding a job to fit into I am creating a job to fit all I love into it. Who needs that 8-5 life with only 2 weeks of vacation and no flexibility basically? I may need it if this adventure falls short of my expectations, but I will do my best to live my dream and create and connect with people in the community. I think it's worth a try.

And so that girl I knew is long gone...she's long gone... And that's one of my favorite songs by The Black Keys!

And the tradition continues...

When I was a little girl I was always included in the activities my grandparents and family were doing. Like cooking, gardening, creating and so as a child I was exposed rather early to things grown up people do. I remember standing at the kitchen sink at my great grandparents kitchen looking out on the farm through the window while rinsing dishes in a tub. I was about 4 then. I also remember making Parker House rolls with my great grandmother and turning some of the dough into cinnamon rolls. And so this is how we learn isn't it?

When I was very young, before I was five, I painted with oil paints with my grandma. And then over time I picked up a needle and thread and started sewing with my grandma and great grandma. I went from embroidery to sewing sundresses and on to quilting. Learning to do these things with my family has been a tradition as long as anyone can remember. Just like boys learn to drive a nail, sew a button on, farm the land. They do it beside their fathers and mothers. And I learned just like the boys too with things like: Chop & haul wood, fish, hammer things, carpentry, metal work, feeding the cattle, etc. It was just a part of our lives. And I think back on it fondly.

Now, I am seeing my children taken under my family's wings and starting to learn the same way I did. There is no hesitation. Just jump right in, make mistakes, learn from the mistakes and over time perfect what you are doing. What could be better?

Recently my family was able to get together to celebrate the birth of our newest family member. And in the small amount of time we were together...look what happened...

This is my daughter with my grandmother, her great grandmother learning to piece a quilt. Now I look at that and see what a wonderful bond those two got to form that day. A little lesson introduced and knowledge had between two family members. What could be better? Nothing in my opinion is better.

I have very fond memories of just these types of things I got to do with my family. I was very lucky to know all my grandparents and three great-grandparents, two of them lived long lives up to when I was married and had kids even. I have memories of riding the tractor with my dad's father. Fishing and shooting a rifle with my mom's dad. Gardening, cooking, sewing with all my grandmothers and great-grandmas. And now many of them are gone, but I still remember those treasured moments I had with them. Working and learning right beside them, but it wasn't work at all. It was fun. And that is how these traditions come full circle. Maybe someday I'll teach my grandchild or even great grandchild some art. It's something to look forward to.

Trust Yourself & Happy 3rd Birthday Fibers Studio!

Off and on for a couple years with Fibers Studio I have been posting two words for Tuesday as a kind of inspiration or happy thought for myself. Today my two words for Tuesday were: Trust Yourself.

Sometimes that is really hard to do though. Some of us question what we need, should be doing, want, don't want, etc. To the point where we freeze in our steps. Or even ignore our most basic needs.  Just get through our days and hope for the best.

Do you know what you want in your life? Do you know what you want to do? Do you know what you want to be? I've been thinking about this a lot lately because at one point I had reached all my goals and then I was like...well, now what!? I was a bit confused and honestly rather lost. I had not thought what I wanted after all those goals were met.

So I took time to think and plan out my next chapters. And one of them was starting my own business. Then I got to dream a bit more. Which is one of my favorite things to do! Dreaming for me means planning. So I dreamed up Fibers Studio. I didn't want to limit myself to just one art/craft because I love many different things. That's how the name came to be. Fibers...all things created with fibers. This can include wool, cotton, yarn, cloth, plant fibers, woods, paper... you get the idea.

So I am going forward with the next two years in my five year plan for Fibers Studio. I just celebrated year 3 on April 1, 2012. Yes, April Fool's Day. I posted items for sale on that day three years ago. I didn't it on purpose also. Why not? Just a fun fact. Now I have the big plans to get through. Funding, expanding, possibly having a business space for people to come into and many, many other things I am trying to work out. Be patient...it will come I keep telling myself. And it is. Just taking time. And thank goodness my youngest child is entering full day school this year. I really think that will help me to have more than 2 hours to devote to this fun job I've created!

Trust in you to know what you need for you, what you desire & the life you want to lead. No one else knows. I learned to trust myself and honestly there's no turning back. I love my life and the choices I've made for me.

One Day at a Time... Working out of a Rut!

I've been in a funky rut. Yep, a rut. Something overwhelmed me and I just couldn't focus on my art! Not good for me and I felt a little lost for a bit. But honestly, every day isn't always the best is it? There are those ups and downs in life. I just didn't expect my rut to hit so hard!

I'm happy to say I have new energy and I am loving it! I've started tatting again and really thinking about what I want to do. What can I leave behind in my life? Why do I tend to repeat self-defeating patterns and how to solve that? I mean...really!? So, I turned to some help to get me focused and really pin point what I could do so I don't fall into this again. I have a long road, but step by step I'm getting there.  That reminds me of Eddie Rabbit's song, "Step by Step". Hmmm, now I am showing my age! haha

Hand-tatted heart with red glass seed beads necklace

But good things are on the horizon. I am tackling how to go about tatting bridal crowns, some with crystals and some without. Then I was thinking about small crowns for babies...like ones that photographers could use in photo shoots. Who doesn't have a baby girl who thinks she's as sweet as a princess? Really!?

Also, over the holidays I was commissioned to create a custom pair of panties for a gift. I incorporated hand-tatted lace into the design. And honestly, I think they are super cute! Some of my friends were like...will you make more? How much are they? Then I started making more lace for more pantie designs and I am starting to work through those now. It's just going to take time to get through my ideas and make it into a process I can work with!

Prototype X Lace Panties with Hand-Tatted Lace insert

I'm also preparing for festivals and art expos on the horizon. Which means my production of products are getting to be in full swing. I am happy to have so much variety in what I do - weaving, tatting, knitting. Creating things with fabric, paper and thread. It's really limitless and honestly I am my own boss and I like the idea that I can change gears and do something different.

Enjoy the leaping forward this weekend! Longer days equals more time to create! Right?

Close-up of my tag, a new line of intimate and bridal apparel - embrace.

Close-up of the hand-tatted lace insert

Packaged up for the customer, ready to send!

Design presented to the customer for the concept for the custom panties.

                               

Happy New Year, Plans and Excitement!!

Hello! Happy New Year to All! 

Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me
OH I'M FEELING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

2011 was a fabulous year for Fibers Studio! Record sales along with record custom orders made it a great year for me!

I am so excited about 2012. I have been working through some ideas for new products and working on improving my old products. And determining which things I really will or wont make along the way. It's a learning process and I love it. Plus, I have developed a working production schedule that I hopefully will be a good step for me to keep my products in supply and so forth. Having a working schedule will also keep me moving forward with ideas and not just doing them when I want. Artists work, but they need the discipline of work also to make their work successful!

But really, what I want to say is I am trying to do more of what I LOVE. Leaving behind those things that drive me nuts and I don't enjoy. So with my new ideas and new production schedule I am hoping to achieve this.

Part of my new schedule is also posting more often so you know what I am doing! One other way to follow me is on facebook. I usually post more pictures of current products there also.

Like Nina Simone sings, "And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me..." Be BOLD! Do what you love and happiest wishes to you and yours in 2012!

The Wall

Once upon a time I built a wall that was so high you'd have to have an oxygen tank to climb it. Plus, this wall was so thick you could never get through it. I was hurt that badly. If you have been hurt and been through trauma you might understand this metaphor.

It's not something I talk about much, but being hurt to the point you put up walls no one can get through is really not dealing with what's going on. You think you are protecting yourself and in ways you are. But in other ways you are really preventing personal growth, friendships from happening and happiness from coming to you.

So why do it? I think for me it was just a reaction. A way to stay safe. Then someone noticed me though all that thickness. I thought I hid well enough away from everyone. Away from love and kindness and friendship to form. Trust is so very difficult when one has been hurt isn't it?

But the message now is, take down at least some of that wall and experience life. View it through new eyes. Step into someone else's shoes and look in for a change. You might just find you see something you like. YOU. And that will lead to great things if you just take a step beyond that wall and find that new path to your new life. Peace & Love. Enjoy Life!

"Transitions" by V. J. Asbury
 

WAHOOOOO! New threads for tatting!!!

My new threads!

Seriously! It's gorgeous! 

Ah, oh the things I will make as it slips between my fingers and around and back again.

Happy Day!

The Word ENJOY

You know, I like to tell people to "Enjoy their day", "ENJOY their birthday", "ENJOY life." It's a lovely word that can bring so much happiness to our lives if we just pay attention to it.

Really think about a day when maybe you were down and had too much work to get through. Then you are checking out at a counter and the sales clerk says, "Enjoy your day!" Do you pay attention to it? Are you numb to it? Do you think...even though I am having a rotten day I really need to find something wonderful to like about it? Maybe you don't, but I do!

Recently I took a trip by myself! No kids and no responsibilities really for me. I visited some friends and family and really just got to be me. But on the way to some dive to visit with my dear friend I got stuck in really, really rotten traffic. So instead of a ten to fifteen minute hop over the hills....it took me a hour and ten minutes! Crazy traffic. At first I was a little frustrated, but then I realized...look at all those colors on the leaves. Look at that sunset! How fortunate to have that moment to enjoy.

If you pay attention to this little word it can really make a difference. To feel joy is such a fabulous feeling. And it's filled with love and caring. I can't think of another word that I love more that means the same. Or another feeling I would want to give to someone else to brighten their world.

LOVE is a great word, but honestly over used to the point that we don't hear it. Have we lost our senses in this overly busy, overly computed and overly crazy world? Think about it. How many of you go about your day schlepping through life and not finding one positive moment? Maybe we are not paying attention.

So, wake up and think about what makes you happy. Find JOY in your life. Find something to ENJOY while you do something maybe that is difficult. It could help you along you know.

Just something I was pondering and wanted to share with you. I have so many projects to catch up on writing about. I can't wait to share my JOY of what I do with you! I better get on that asap!

ENJOY your life!

Creamy flowers with Apple Green Beads

Some new colors for this jewelry. Just had an idea of a soft cream with a fresh green splash...here's what I came up with. It is a variation of the black with sliver beads I made a few weeks ago for a fundraiser.

Flower Bracelet

Simple Flower Earrings

Medallion Necklace

Close-up

Everyone have a wonderful weekend. I will be working on a custom order of this design in black with silver beads.

CREATE EVERYDAY! Do what you LOVE!

Everything's Coming up Daisies!

Lately I have been working through some designs in tatting. I came across a daisy pattern I liked and thought I could use to make jewelry. So I did. Take a look at these..

Simple Daisy Earrings

Daisy Bracelet

Daisy Medallion Necklace

After I put these together I was going through some old broken jewelry and found some beads I thin I will add to the tatting in the center of the daisy design. Usually I include the beads when I make the lace and not an after thought, but this time it's a little different.

The lace is delicate and light weight. Adding the beads wont add too much weight to any of the pieces. 

Hope you liked!

CREATE EVERY DAY!!!!