She's Long Gone...

I recently made a huge transistion in my life. One that I wasn't even sure I knew how to do, but I just said, "It's time".

I left behind the girl I no longer want to be to become the woman I want to be. The last couple decades I have struggled with what is expected of me compared to what I wanted to do. I think this is a debate a lot of people go through, but who actually follows through? I know some do, but some don't like change, transitions, etc. Whatever you like to call it.

Change is so difficult...especially the ones you can't control. This change with me is very controlled. I decided to step out of the life I didn't like. I have been a graphic designer for 20 years and I just decided I was done. Like I said it had been coming, but I actually did it. I spoke the words and I did it. I told my clients I was finished and I then resigned from a contracting job which I had slowly started pulling away from. I don't feel bad either. Not one ounce of guilt. I know that right there means the world to me not to feel guilt and it's the right move for me.

Now, onto my new adventure. I want to have a shop, earn a living running it and to keep making/selling my art. It's scary you know to think I will have employees, own MORE money for a while, but then again I will have the flexibility I really need to keep myself around my kids and in there life. I need that. I think they will need it even if they don't want me there...but hey, sticking with my kids is a given. I chose that and I love them dearly. Plus there is a heck of a learning curve opening a business and I am using every possible contact and resource out there to get this done correctly and not just jump into without considering all possibilities. I'll make mistakes, but if I can get past the first, second, then third years...I will be really happy. Lots of planning to be done by me very, very soon!

So basically instead of my finding a job to fit into I am creating a job to fit all I love into it. Who needs that 8-5 life with only 2 weeks of vacation and no flexibility basically? I may need it if this adventure falls short of my expectations, but I will do my best to live my dream and create and connect with people in the community. I think it's worth a try.

And so that girl I knew is long gone...she's long gone... And that's one of my favorite songs by The Black Keys!